Every year, I write in here that I want to switch things up a bit and be more present on YouTube. I guess that's it. It's my first ever lookbook and it's the first blog post of the year. I've been working hard on it and it would mean the world to me if you could just click on it even if you don't like it and close it after a few seconds. I just need your feedback and your support.
Here's the sum up of 2018: January: My grandfather unexpectedly passed away in early December. January was pretty tough because I was all by myself in London dealing with this. And by "all by myself" I really mean it. My family was in Paris, staying strong together; my friends went completely silent radio on me, no message of support, no calls, no nothing; I was having a tough time at work with my agressive boss and my housemate was still being extremely rude to me. I couldn't see the end of January...
February: I was laid off my job - they decided not to renew my contract, probably because me and my boss were all at war (and also because I sucked at this job to be honest). But thank goodness during that period, my dear friend Justine came to visit me and we went to Brighton. It felt good. It was the last time we saw each other before...
March: ... Miami ! See, when we say "God has a plan" He really has. If we didn't plan this trip months ago, I would've stayed in London, crying over losing my job and worrying about what next. Instead, we flew to Florida, went to the Bahamas, road tripped across the Sunshine state and completely deconnected (I might have posted a pic or two on Instagram haha). It was exactly what I needed, when I needed it.
April: I started training for this new job, but wasn't sure where that was going so I moved back to Paris mid-April. We buried my grand-father on my birthday.
May: And the following weekend, my most supportive friends (minus one but she was busy) drove to my country side house to celebrate my birthday. I was still a bit shaky following the burial but it was very nice to have them around and soak up the sun in laughter. I will never forget that they came, even if it was a long way, even if it did not sound like the best weekend ever.
Who knew that age 26 I will still learn a lesson on friendship and betrayal? Well, I still learned the hard way after my grand-father's passing that sometimes you can give EVERYTHING to you friends, be there for them during tough times, they will not necessarily be there for you when something terrible happens. So yes, my friends were still completely silent, except one. But I also learned a big lesson on loyalty on the first week of May and I have to admit that I am still really struggling with what happened. But hey yay I got the job and moved back to London !
June: I moved to a new house, not in my favorite neighborhood but hey, London's housing market is cray. The housemates were terrible - again - and it was freaking hot and loud in there ! I tried not to be disappointed and tried to see my friends as much as possible. I also started listening to all the ChristChurch London's podcasts on my iPhone. The rest was work work work work work work work...
July: World Cup ! All I can remember is night shifts, weekend shifts and world cup games ! Also, I remember the heat in London and how I did not shave because all I did was work sleep eat repeat, so it was a nightmare being in jeans in 35 degrees. Dammit patriarchy !
August: More World Cup and the big victory ! Woohoo ! I also got Kanye West'd by someone who thought it was clever to tell me that my anxiety and clinically diagnosed depression was a "choice" but hey France won the World Cup so suck it !
September: I moved back to East London, with grown ass men who did not know anything about cleaning and energy saving. Needless to say after a week I knew I'd need to move out - again. But I was closer to church and Syana and all the cool spots. I started a new job as well ! #GodProvides
October: My sister moved to the US and left me on the other side of the pond ! My new job turned out to be trickier for my mental wellbeing than I thought but as Avril Lavigne says "God keep my head above water !".
November: Moved into a new house share with cool housemates - not in my favorite part of London but that will do. Started watching Buffy again. Otherwise it was just me being busy with work.
December: I went back to Paris to see Michelle Obama but she cancelled on us because Bush senior died. So I got to spend some quality time with my family. And then it was Christmas, and then I flew to New York to be with my sis ! I also finished listening to all the podcasts available from my church on the podcast thing of the iPhone.
So yeah, the beginning of the year was pretty intense and tough but in the end, I tried to let go and just keep moving forward. I do not want to set goals. I just think I need to work on myself to let go of grudges I keep that keep pulling me back. I also need to let go of people, even if we had amazing years together, I don't need to have these years holding me back from cutting them off. And that will be the most difficult part, but I think it's time for me to look for a new church. The sense of belonging I had when I joined back in 2014 is fading, I now struggle each time a bit more with social anxiety when I go because I feel rejected. Let's see how this goes...
Cozy outfit we shot back in mid-September, during the Indian summer in London. The story behind those pics is how we got catcalled by boys who were no more than 15 while we were shooting in the streets of Hackney, how they got mad we didn't answer and called us "cunts" and they followed us and told me I was too ugly to get men interested anyways. Oh boy, so much for #metoo... See how young boys start disrespecting, harassing and abuse women. Even grown ass women like us. How come some still struggle to understand that educating boys is something that we MUST address to fix many issues that affect women - and men (hello toxic masculinity) - everywhere in the world nowadays? Smh...
Petit look confort shooté il y a déjà quelques mois en plein été indien à Londres. L'histoire ne dit pas qu'alors que nous shootions, des petits mecs d'environs 15 piges nous ont hélé et nous ont insulté de salopes car nous ne leur avions pas répondu. Ils nous ont ensuite suivi et m'ont dit que de toute façon j'étais trop moche pour intéresser les homes. Bienvenue dans l'ère #metoo. Voyez comment les jeunes garçons commencent très tôt à manquer de respect, à harceler et à abuser des femmes? Et certains pensent toujours que l'éducation des garçons n'est pas primordiale pour palier les problèmes auxquelles les femmes - et les hommes à travers la masculinité toxique - font face à travers le monde...
I loved this coat from Topshop when it hit the stores but as I mentioned before, Indian summer didn't help getting into the chilly autumn vibe so I wore it with a Zara dress I already wore here. I only wore this dress less than ten times and the stitches started to come off, so I gave it away to charity. In 2019, I'm going to try to explain myself more about this but I am SO done with fast fashion. This year has been eye opening to me. So fast fashion, and those #metoo allegations that hit Topshop were red flags for me so I returned the coat. Bye.
J'ai tout de suite craqué pour ce manteau Topshop quand il est arrivé en boutique. Mais bon, comme je disais, à cause de l'été indien, c'était difficile de passer en mode automne pour le porté donc je l'ai mis avec cette petite robe de chez Zara que vous avez déjà vu ici. Et pour l'avoir porté moins d'une dizaine de fois, quel seum j'avais quand j'ai vu que les coutures se défaisaient et qu'elle tombait en lambeau... Je jeté dans une benne à vêtements. En 2019, j'essaierai de m'exprimer davantage et de vous expliquer pour j'en ai terminé avec la fast fashion. Ca a été ma révélation de l'année. Donc entre ça et Topshop pris par la vague #metoo, j'ai décidé de rendre le manteau. Bye.
Bon à la base j'avais shooté ce look pour vous présenter une façon de se sapper comme jaja pour le Nouvel An. Mais vu que je suis une flemmarde de ouf, j'ai jamais fait ça. Et aujourd'hui c'est mon anniversaire alors je fais ce que je veux. T'as qu'à te dire que c'est une idée de tenue de soirée d'anniversaire. Voilà. Y a des sapins de Noël dans le décor, tu vas faire quoi ?
I really wanted to publish an "New Years outfit ideas" post in December but got lazy and it never happened. And since today's ma birthday and idgaf, I decided to publish the pics. Take it as a "birthday party outfit ideas" post. Do not mind the Christmas trees in the background ok. Bye.
Jacket Adidas x Hypebeast / Bra Shaka Ponk x Undiz / Skirt Monki / Boots Zara
I discovered Metallica when I was 14 or maybe 13. Avril Lavigne covered one of their song and somehow I got intrigued to see what else this iconic band had to offer. I say iconic because on the radio, I kept hearing "Nothing Else Matters" which the anchor kept branding as iconic. And it is. Years after years, Metallica grew on me and I found to consider myself as a result as a fan. A what is a fan without a proper band t-shirt ?
I really hoped for a long time, I'd find one in a yard sale or a thrift shop, but it did not completely go as planned. In San Francisco last year, I did find many options in thrift shops but I tend to be super picky. I wanted it plain black, with just the "Metallica" sign in white on it. But all of them had various artworks on 'em that I did not really liked. Gosh, I already have so many tops with skulls on them, it has to stop.
Then Metallica came out with new stuff and the merch craze went bananas. You could basically find Metallica shirts e-ve-ry-where: H&M Divided, Bershka, Pull&Bear even Undiz, like come on guys ! So I was like "nu-uh I'm not buying that". Especially since they had a trademark line right under the logo which felt super off.
I ended up almost giving up with that ASOS man top in my wishlist and one day I decided to give it a shot. What do you think ? Weird right. Not sure I'm going to wear it again because I does not feel right. The quest for the Metallica shirt is still on.
J'ai découvert Metallica quand j'avais 13 ou 14 ans. Avril Lavigne avait repris une de leur chanson
et ça m'a intrigué. Je voulais en savoir davantage sur ce groupe emblématique. J'entendais toujours "Nothing Else Matters" sur Le Mouv' et l'animatrice disait toujours que ce groupe était légendaire. Et il l'est. Plus le temps passait, plus je tombais amoureuse de Metallica, jusqu'à me considérer aujourd'hui comme une fan. Mais suis-je vraiment fan si je n'ai pas de tee-shirt pour le prouver ?
J'ai espéré pendant longtemps en trouver un lors d'une brocante ou en friperie, mais tout ne s'est pas vraiment passé comme prévu. A San Francisco, j'en ai trouvé pas mal en friperie mais je suis super relou. Je voulais un tee-shirt noir avec uniquement le logo de Metallica en blanc dessus. Mais tous les tee-shirts que j'ai trouvé avait divers dessins dessus que je ne kiffais pas trop. Et puis bon, j'ai déjà trop de tee-shirt à tête de mort, il faut que je me calme.
Et puis ensuite, Metallica a sorti un nouvel album et ils étaient partout. On trouvait leur t-shirts chez H&M Divided, Bershka, Pull&Bear et même Undiz. Pour moi il était hors de question d'acheter ça. En plus c'était ridicule,
certains modèles avait carrément la phrase de copyright dessus, chelou.
J'allais abandonner quand ce top Asos man a fini dans ma wishlist. Un jour, j'ai craqué et j'ai tenté ma chance.
Qu'en pensez-vous ? Un peu bizarre non. Je ne suis pas sûre de le re-porter, je ne suis pas tout à fait à l'aise. On peut donc conclure que la recherche du tee-shirt Metallica parfait est toujours en cours.
Jacket Levi's / Metallica shirt Asos Man / Skirt Zara / Shoes T.U.K. Footwear
1996. "Toy Story" came out in 1996. I genuinely remember the first time I got to see it, probably a year later, which means about 20 years ago. Let that sink in. I was with my sister sitting on a girl's bed, a girl we did not even know and who was not there. We were at a friends of my mom's dinner in the Paris suburb, Villejuif I guess. While they were having post dinner drinks in the kitchen, the host put the "Toy Story" VHS in the VCR (I feel really sorry for the kids who did not know this era, it was legitimately the best: the smell of warm VHS was heaven) to entertain my sister and I. He was the owner of a video store, a long lost occupation thanks to the Internet and the "Nextflix and chill" trend. It was like going to Disneyland going to his house, we always had to choose a film while adults were having wine. His bedroom was under a secret hatch in his kitchen, he would leave it open so my mom could hear us. His bedroom was perfect for hide-and-seek. He also had this giant cork map on his wall with a pin on every country and city he visited. Goals, right ? My sister and I would play with the pins and change their places. If we asked very politely, he would hang a hammock above the couch and my sister and I would fight inside while watching a movie. But for "Toy Story" we were in this estranged girl bedroom and I kind of remember I fell asleep. But the memory is still vivid.
About 5 years later, I had a baby sister. And she grew up to watch "Toy Story" on a DVD player, and I fell asleep in love with the movie all over again. I kind of know every word, every quotes, even the song at the end. We have many inside jokes with my sisters with references to this movie. It began a way to connect with people as well. I mean, if you don't acknowledge the fact that "Toy Story" is by far the best Pixar movie ever made - even if "Nemo" is close to steal the spotlight - we'd probably don't be friends.
So yes, "Toy Story" is a big deal for me. A Forever 21 is banking on it, I'm telling you my friends. I already own a "Toy Story" sweatshirt from them you already saw. I did not hesitate a second to spend 20+€ in it. And it happened all over again in San Francisco last September. My credit card was declined, I had cash in my wallet to pay for gas and treat for our road trip but I kind of spent half of that in this amazeballs "Toy Story" jumper. And you know what ? I absolutely do not regret it. Deal with it.
1996. “Toy Story” est sorti en 1996. Et je me souviens parfaitement de la première fois où je l’ai vu. C’était probablement une année plus tard, ce qui signifie que c’était il y a environ 20 ans. Eh ouais. J’étais assise avec ma soeur sur un lit de petite file, une petite fille que nous ne connaissions même pas et qui n’était pas là. On était allées dîner chez un ami de ma mère en banlieue parisienne, à Villejuif si je ne me trompe pas. Pendant qu’ils buvaient dans la cuisine après le dîner, l’hôte a mis la cassette de “Toy Story” dans le magnétoscope (J’ai de la peine pour tous les gamins qui n’ont pas connu cette époque qui était vraisemblablement la meilleure: l’odeur d’une cassette chaude était juste exquise) pour nous divertir. Il était propriétaire d’un vidéo-club, une profession maintenant disparue merci Internet et la culture du “Nextflix and chill”. Aller chez lui c’était un peu comme aller à Disneyland, on pouvait choisir un film pendant que les adultes buvaient. Sa chambre était cachée sous une trappe dans la cuisine, il la gardait toujours ouverte pour garder un oeil sur nous avec ma mère. Sa chambre était parfaite pour jouer à cache-cache. Il avait cet immense mappemonde en liège sur son mur avec une épingle sur chaque pays et villes où il s’était rendu. Je rêve d’en avoir une similaire depuis. Ma soeur et moi nous amusions à jouer avec les épingles et à les déplacer. Si nous demandions poliment, il nous accrochait un hamac au dessus du canapé et ma soeur et moi nous battions dedans en regardant une cassette. Mais pour “Toy Story” nous étions dans la chambre de cette petite fille inconnue et je me souviens vaguement m’être endormie. Mais le souvenir est toujours là.
Environ 5 ans plus tard, j’ai eu une petite soeur. Et en grandissant, elle a eu l’occasion de regarder “Toy Story” cette fois sur un lecteur DVD. Et je suis tombée de fatigue amoureuse du film à nouveau. Je connais chaque réplique et même la chanson à la fin. Avec mes soeurs, nous faisons souvent des blagues en référence au film. C’est devenu un moyen de tisser des liens avec les gens aussi. Si vous n’admettez pas que “Toy Story” est de loin le meilleur film que Pixar ait jamais fait - même si “Nemo” lui vole presque la vedette - il y a de fortes chances pour que nous ne nous entendions pas.
Vous l’aurez compris, “Toy Story” est très important pour moi. Et Forever 21 se fait des cou*lles en or grâce à ça, moi j’vous l’dis ! Vous avez déjà vu que suis l’heureuse propriétaire d’un sweatshirt “Toy Story” qui vient de chez eux. Je n’ai pas hésité une seconde à débourser plus de 20€ dedans. Et la situation s’est reproduit à San Francisco en septembre dernier. Ma carte de crédit a été refusée, j’avais du liquide dans mon porte monnaie qui était censé servir pour payer l’essence et les cochonneries à manger pendant notre road trip mais j’ai dépensé la moitié de mon budget dans ce super pull “Toy Story”. Et vous savez quoi ? Je n’ai aucun regret.
Jacket Vintage / "Toy Story" Jumper Forever 21 / Skirt Zara / Fishnet Socks Primark / Boots Zara
What do you think of the "Toy Story" movies ? (careful answering that)
Here's an outfit my sister actually photographed under the rain. It was one of those days when I had a spark of energy to use for my blog. It was at least one month ago, so yeah, the spark did not last long. It's just that with the giveaway and all the changes happening in my life at the moment, blogging (and everything that goes along which means Snapchat, Instagram, Instastory...) did not seem like a priority. For some of us bloggers it is really a job, a main occupation, for me it's just a hobby, a safety net just in case. But I did miss it, so here's what I got in store for you guys and hopefully more will come soon !
Aujourd'hui je vous présente une petite tenue des familles photographiée par la petite soeur (des familles donc) sous la pluie. C'était un des jours comme ça où mon cerveau me dit "il faut absolument que tu shootes une tenue pour la publier sur ton blog". Ma soeur a pris ses photos il y a plus d'un mois, vous comprendrez donc que parfois je refuse de faire ce que me dit mon cerveau. En même temps, avec le concours et tout ce qui se passe dans ma vie ("tu connais pas ma vie hein"), mon blog et tout ce qui va avec (Snapchat, Instagram, Instastory) a été clairement relégué au second plan. Si pour certaines blogueuses, bloguer est un boulot, une occupation principale, pour moi c'est juste un hobby, une roue de secours au cas où. Mais bon, ça m'a manqué alors voilà pour l'instant tout ce que j'ai en stock. On croise les doigts pour que mon cerveau me pousse à publier davantage rapidement.
Jacket Vintage / Top Bershka / Trousers Zara / Boots New Look
Trials and tribulation of a young woman born and raised in Paris. Welcome to the diary of an adulescent sensitive to the Y generation culture, edgy fashion expert, music lover, tv shows binge watcher, globe trotter, Anglo-Saxon culture addict, movie fan, environmentally aware vegetarian, strong feminist and wannabe Gryffindor's heir.
