I'm having a little hard time with life at the moment.
I started feeling down in January but thought it was just jet-lag, hormones, winter, whatever. And then I had this massive nosebleed in Istanbul when my sister was sleeping and I thought "oh, so anemia is back, that's why I've been feeling down". But it clearly wasn't just that. Followed a marathon of shifts, mostly overnight that left me completely drained. Winter was still there so this meant I barely saw light of day for a week and I paid the price for it. My circadian cycle was all over the place, I was so sleep deprived, my body didn't understand when was a good time to eat so I was on a two-meals-a-day diet, hungry all the time except when I actually had food in front of me. And then boom, my periods hit for the second time in three weeks. Something is wrong. My hormones are all over the place. And when hormones are all over the place, it shows up there. And things that shouldn't necessarily trigger me did: friends having dark thoughts needing help, podcasts about sexual assault, conflict with colleagues... And now I'm down. I have not been in such a dark place in more than a year. I made SO MUCH progress last year with dealing with my depression - even though social anxiety peaked as a result - but I feel like now is the right time after 5 years to make an appointment with my therapist. I feel like I am now ready to open up to her more than I ever did and finally fix the issue that's been killing me slowly for twenty years.
I know there are a lot of pictures and I always hated when bloggers did that but I need to be feeling myself at the moment.
Also look at my amazing brows. I went to the salon and the lady completely messed them up but I fixed them with my Benefit product.
I discovered Metallica when I was 14 or maybe 13. Avril Lavigne covered one of their song and somehow I got intrigued to see what else this iconic band had to offer. I say iconic because on the radio, I kept hearing "Nothing Else Matters" which the anchor kept branding as iconic. And it is. Years after years, Metallica grew on me and I found to consider myself as a result as a fan. A what is a fan without a proper band t-shirt ?
I really hoped for a long time, I'd find one in a yard sale or a thrift shop, but it did not completely go as planned. In San Francisco last year, I did find many options in thrift shops but I tend to be super picky. I wanted it plain black, with just the "Metallica" sign in white on it. But all of them had various artworks on 'em that I did not really liked. Gosh, I already have so many tops with skulls on them, it has to stop.
Then Metallica came out with new stuff and the merch craze went bananas. You could basically find Metallica shirts e-ve-ry-where: H&M Divided, Bershka, Pull&Bear even Undiz, like come on guys ! So I was like "nu-uh I'm not buying that". Especially since they had a trademark line right under the logo which felt super off.
I ended up almost giving up with that ASOS man top in my wishlist and one day I decided to give it a shot. What do you think ? Weird right. Not sure I'm going to wear it again because I does not feel right. The quest for the Metallica shirt is still on.
J'ai découvert Metallica quand j'avais 13 ou 14 ans. Avril Lavigne avait repris une de leur chanson
et ça m'a intrigué. Je voulais en savoir davantage sur ce groupe emblématique. J'entendais toujours "Nothing Else Matters" sur Le Mouv' et l'animatrice disait toujours que ce groupe était légendaire. Et il l'est. Plus le temps passait, plus je tombais amoureuse de Metallica, jusqu'à me considérer aujourd'hui comme une fan. Mais suis-je vraiment fan si je n'ai pas de tee-shirt pour le prouver ?
J'ai espéré pendant longtemps en trouver un lors d'une brocante ou en friperie, mais tout ne s'est pas vraiment passé comme prévu. A San Francisco, j'en ai trouvé pas mal en friperie mais je suis super relou. Je voulais un tee-shirt noir avec uniquement le logo de Metallica en blanc dessus. Mais tous les tee-shirts que j'ai trouvé avait divers dessins dessus que je ne kiffais pas trop. Et puis bon, j'ai déjà trop de tee-shirt à tête de mort, il faut que je me calme.
Et puis ensuite, Metallica a sorti un nouvel album et ils étaient partout. On trouvait leur t-shirts chez H&M Divided, Bershka, Pull&Bear et même Undiz. Pour moi il était hors de question d'acheter ça. En plus c'était ridicule,
certains modèles avait carrément la phrase de copyright dessus, chelou.
J'allais abandonner quand ce top Asos man a fini dans ma wishlist. Un jour, j'ai craqué et j'ai tenté ma chance.
Qu'en pensez-vous ? Un peu bizarre non. Je ne suis pas sûre de le re-porter, je ne suis pas tout à fait à l'aise. On peut donc conclure que la recherche du tee-shirt Metallica parfait est toujours en cours.
Jacket Levi's / Metallica shirt Asos Man / Skirt Zara / Shoes T.U.K. Footwear
A moi ! A moi les Creepers ! Plus d'un an que j'en n'avais plus de paire, les autres ayant rendu l'âme à Londres à cause des portants de Topshop. Je les ai eu à Noël et cette fois, ce sont des vraies, pas des New Look, des vraies T.U.K. comme celles que je lorgnais à l'Indien Boutique à Paris quand j'avais 15 ans, que j'étais fauchée et que jamais mes parents n'auraient investi dans de telles chaussures à cet âge. J'ai déjà bien lutté pour me faire offrir des Dr Martens mais alors des Creepers, j'ai même pas essayé. J'aurais voulu des New Rock aussi, je suis persuadée que j'en aurais un jour mais pas pour tout de suite...
Vous connaissez ces gens qui ont des frustrations pendant leur enfance et qui prennent leur revanche plus tard ? Ouais genre l'enfoiré affectif qui était moche au collège et qui chope tout ce qui bouge quand la puberté frappe enfin et qu'il devient canon. Bah moi je suis le genre de nana tellement frustrée de ne pas avoir pu dans mon adolescence m'acheter les pièces phares de la penderie d'une rockeuse qui se respecte que je le fais à 25 ans maintenant que je peux me le permettre financièrement. J'étais la nana qui achetais des tops à tête de morts bidons et des sweatshirts à étoiles dark chez Mim et H&M quand d'autres refaisaient leur garde robe chez Demonia, Famous Stars & Stripes et T.U.K. Ca a toujours été une frustration quand j'étais ado de ne pas pouvoir me saper comme j'avais envie, j'avais l'impression de ne pas être crédible dans le "dark game". Puis j'ai commencé à économiser avec mes 15€ d'argent de poche par mois pour m'offrir des slims d'emo authentique Criminal Damage, des tops en vogue chez les rockeurs... J'ai gagné en street cred'. C'est tellement ridicule avec le recul de se dire des choses pareilles. Mais finalement ce n'est pas ce que tout le monde fait pour se définir ? Les nanas qui se prennent pour des bobos, des Charlotte Gainsbourg en puissance en se sapant chez Sandro, Gerard Darel et COS. Les dandys qui ne jurent que par The Kooples, Cheap Monday et les fripes. Les hipsters qui se fringuent chez Ekyog, &Other Stories et Supreme. La street cred, trouver la bonne marque qui valide ton état d'esprit et te fait approuver par tes pairs. Ridicule certes mais... elles sont pas trop canons mes Creepers ?
I finally got my hands on a proper pair of Creepers ! I'm so happy about it ! The other ones I got from New Look got ripped apart by hanging rails in Topshop in London last year. So I got these new ones for Christmas and they're proper Creepers from T.U.K. footwear. I remember being 15 and broke and eyeing those shoes. I knew that my parents would never agree to buy me this kind of shoes, I already had a hard time to convince my dad to buy me a pair of Dr Martens, so I did not even try for Creepers. I won't even mention New Rock which I'm still thinking of buying a pair...
I am one of these people who have PTSD from frustrations from childhood; you know like the people who were ugly and rejected growing up and who turn into heartbreakers once puberty hit them in the good way. So my frustration was being rejected from my fellow rock'n'roll people for being cheap and not affording the legit rock'n'roll brands' stuff. Now that I can afford these stuff, I'm spending all my money in them. Don't judge me.
Checked pants Asos / Mesh top Pull&Bear via Asos / Bra Alexander Wang x H&M / Fishnets Vintage / Creepers T.U.K. Footwear / Sunglasses and chocker Ebay
Winter is over so here's a selection of the tracks I played most this season.
Sno - December
Because my winter was all about One Direction and discussing ZAYNmusic, I actually thought this was ZAYN. But it is not. It is waaaay better.
Ed Sheeran - Shape Of You
I am a basic bitch. But I probably heard that song before mainstream people (hipster Armelle stop talking) because I literally clicked on the link as soon as Ed Sheeran published it. I have a vivid memory of having my hips moving after the first two notes and being like "wtf is happening to me ?". And then I was like "it sounds so much like Sia". Then I played this song on repeat for like 2 hours, and my hips hurt. A LOT. Also, "Divide" rocks like I want someone to write lyrics like that for me. Please.
Parker Ighile - This Is America (feat. G-Eazy)
I loved this song first because of that INSANE anxiety provoking instrumental. Also, there's my lover G-Eazy on it. And the lyrics couldn't make more sense now.
The Weeknd - False Alarm
I'm not the biggest fan of The Weeknd since fame won over his amazing music (so hipster of me to say that). BUT... This song has some sorts of Michael Jackson vibe (which makes sense because Abel & I are MJ's biggest fans). I only watched the video recently and was both shocked and amazed. Like this reminds me of GTA Los Santos opening mission and also the movie American Heist starring Hayden Christensen and Adrien Brody.
The Room - Room Of Angel (Silent Hill 4 OST)
I found an old blog of mine this winter and this song was featured on it. I remember as a teen having a thing for hunting songs. But I just discovered the lyrics and I had no idea they were so dark and scary !
Pictureplane - Gothstar
So I'm into "goth step" "witch house" or "witch disco" whatever it is called. It is basically slowed-down Crystal Castle-like music with a gloomier and dreamier vibe. Here are a few recommandations: Holy Other - Know Where, oOoOO - Hearts and Zomby - Soliloquy. Thank you Urban Outfitters for these discoveries. Also, I recommend listening to Classixx - Hanging Gardens which uses the exact same sample which is apparently a rip off of Fleetwood Mac - Seven Wonders.
Marilyn Manson - Third Day of A Seven Day Binge (Acoustic)
This sounds actually like an old Nirvana unplugged song. I like where Marilyn Manson is taking us on here. I wish people made more music like that nowadays.
Hole - Celebrity Skin
Speaking of Nirvana... I listened to that song a lot this winter and only discovered while writing that post that this is Courtney Love's band. Rock on gurl !
Seether - Gasoline
So yes I listened to a lot of 90s, 00steen angst anthems in winter. And Seether was of course part of it.
Nada Surf - Popular
You can see that in both Seether and Nada Surf videos, the aesthetics of "popular" bitches are similar. That's a useful analysis. Don't thank me.
The Breeders - Cannonball
I can actually remember that this track was on most of the 90sfilmssoundtrack. Shoutout to my 90s kids out there !
Chumbawamba - Tubhumping
This is also one of the 90s most iconic songs, wether or not you were in rock music or not. Like, if you know "Teenage Dirtbag", you've heard that one as well !
Falling In Reverse - Coming Home
So, let's talk about Ronnie Radke. I talked about him a lot on that blog because I'm a not-so-retired emo kid and I'm a fan of the guy. But I admit, I kind of jumped off the train when he started the crazy tweets and ego trips on Instagram. He sometimes insults fan in the comment section which is oh so immature and really irritating. Also, his music with Falling In Reverse is cool but not the greatest. And then, they dropped this, which is just like the comment section in YouTube sums it up Falling In Reverse meets 30 Seconds To Mars meets Angels and Airwaves meets some sort of Muse. So yes, it's pretty amazing.
Bloc Party - Banquet
Bloody hell ! I know this song as an iconic early 00ssong as well but had no idea it was Bloc Party until this winter ! Come on, I had to wait for Urban Outfitters to teach me !
Etienne Daho - Comme un boomerang (feat. Dany)
So Valentine's Day is in winter so I looked up for this iconic French song originally performed by Serge Gainsbourg to cry my heart out for being single on that day for the 24th time.
Marc Lavoine - Dis Moi Que l'Amour (feat. Bambou)
Another French song to suck it up on Valentine's Day. The video clip is sick though.
Blue Oyster Cult - (Don't Fear) The Reaper
I found that track in Urban Outfitters' Halloweenplaylist on Spotify. It sounds so new but it was released like 40 years ago. WTF, right ?
Jeffree Star - So Fierce
For those of you who did not know before being a succesful Youtuber and business man, Jeffree Star was a emoscene boy who made the MySpace days ! And at some point, about 10 years ago, he started releasing music and that one was my favorite. Because Internet never forgets, I managed to find it on a former blog.
1997 - Water's Edge
The pop song that put a smile on my face when I was a hypersensitive emo teenager. Ô the memories !
Gwyneth Paltrow - Party All The Time (Glee)
So old Glee episodes were airing on TV a random weekday morning and I fell in love again with that Eddie Murphysong (is that correct ?) sung by Gwyneth Paltrow. She was one of my favorite guest star in the show, back in the days.
Blood Orange - Chamakay
La chanson pour te détendre sous une douche brûlante en rentrant congelé du boulot le soir. Blood Orange sonne tellement vintage... Je veux à Rock en Seine s'il vous plaît !
Sky Ferreira - You're Not The One
I never listen to things people who used to excell in other careers do when they turn to music (sorry ScarJo) but I found this track on an Urban Outfittersplaylist on Spotify and damn, doesn't it feel like Spring is on its way ? Like for reals ! And I am living for Sky Ferreira's looks in this clip !
Miguel - Waves (RAC remix)
This is perfect for a warm late winter, when you can feel the afterwork-drinks-on-a-terrace smell in the air.
Jamie XX - Far Nearer
May Jamie XX share his recipe for happy vibes please ? It feels like I'm in London in early-Spring listening to that track !
Tove Lo - Cool Girl
This track also has early-Spring in London vibes ! Will someone finally take me back ?
Mark Ronson - Glass Mountain Trust (feat. D'Angelo)
Like come on, Mark Ronson share your secret too ! This track got me so ready for Spring !
Je vide mes placards ! Du moins mes dossiers sur mon Macbook. Ce look avec Syana on l'a shooté... il y a longtemps. Mais vu que je procrastine à fond pour trier les photos après les shoots, bah il ne sort que maintenant. Alors j'espère que ce look aux bras dénudés vous rappellera l'été qui ne reviendra pas avant... longtemps.
Comme à mon habitude, j'ai encore acheté des fringues rayon homme. C'est le cas de ce top shoppé chez Zara pour littéralement 3 fois rien. Ce pantalon, je l'ai acheté il y a une plombe aussi aux ventes privées Jean Charles de Castelbajac (le monsieur était même présent et j'ai complètement paniqué hahaha). C'est une pièce de la collection JC/DC x Marvel. C'était le dernier et il était taille 36 donc c'est un peu comme s'il m'appelait. Bon j'avoue il est un peu serré et la braguette a la fâcheuse tendance de m'abandonner mais je le kiffe de fou.
Je ne suis pas une experte de l'univers Marvel, je dois avouer. Comme beaucoup, je surkiffe Iron Man. Je préfère les Spiderman avec Tobey Maguire que ceux avec Andrew Garfield (bien qu'il soit BEAUCOUP BEAUCOUP plus mignon). J'ai ri deux fois pendant Captain America, j'ai trouvé le reste assez ennuyeux... Thor est beaucoup mieux (et Chris Hemsworth n'y est absolument pour rien). La BO de Hulk est vraiment pas mal, et il est pas trop cucu pour une fois. J'ai vu Deadpool aussi dans l'avion en revenant de LA. Mon Dieu, c'était nul ! Tout se tapage pour ça. C'est tellement vulgaire que s'en n'est pas drôle du tout. Si je dis que les personnages sont clichés tout le monde va me dire "c'est fait exprès" alors bon, nique. J'aime bien le trash et la violence mais là, pas ma tasse de thé, c'est mal fait. J'ai juste regardé pour Morena Baccarin que je connais de "Gotham" et qui était tellement belle bonne dans le film !
Non, je n'aipas vu Avengers.
Non, je n'ai pas vu les Gardiens de la Galaxie.
Non, je n'ai pas vu Antman.
Matez-moi ce pantalon bordel !
I'm cleanin' out my closet ! Well, sort of. I'm just emptying for Macbook files. We shot that outfit with Syana ages ago. Because I am a professional procrastinator, I waited forever before taking a look at the pictures and sorting them out. So I hope this sleeveless outfit will remind you of our dear friend the sun that we may not see before a looooong time !
As usual, I bought clothes from the men section. This top is from Zara men. The pants I bought during private sales at Jean Charles de Castelbajac studio in Paris. He was there and I completely freaked out. They're from the JC/DC x Marvel collection and it was the last size 8 so they were basically calling me. Well, ok, I'll have to admit they are a bit tight and the zipper always lets me down but I love them so much !
Well, I am not a Marvel expert. I love Iron Man (like pretty much everybody). I like more the Tobey MaguireSpiderman than the Andrew Garfield one (even though Garfield is waaaay cuter). I laughed like twice maybe watching Captain America, the rest of the film was boring as fuck. Thor is pretty awesome (and it has nothing to do with Chris Hemsworth good looks). The Hulk was fine, especially the soundtrack. And I saw Deadpool in the flight back from Los Angeles to Paris. Boy, it sucked ! I can't believe everyone went nuts about this movie. It is not even funny just crude. The characters were oh so cliché but everyone is going to tell me it was on purpose. I like myself violent movies but that one was just not a good one. I only kept one watching because Morena Bacarin - whom I know from "Gotham" - was looking goooood !
Nope, did not see Antman.
Nope, did not see Avengers.
Nope, did not see Guardians of the Galaxy.
Just look at my pants bloody hell !
Lipstick NYX via Asos / Sunglasse Brick Lane Market / Chocker Ebay / Top Zara Men / Bra Etam / Pants JC/DC / Shoes New Look
Trials and tribulation of a young woman born and raised in Paris. Welcome to the diary of an adulescent sensitive to the Y generation culture, edgy fashion expert, music lover, tv shows binge watcher, globe trotter, Anglo-Saxon culture addict, movie fan, environmentally aware vegetarian, strong feminist and wannabe Gryffindor's heir.
