LOOKBOOK METALLIC LOVER

Every year, I write in here that I want to switch things up a bit and be more present on YouTube. I guess that's it. It's my first ever lookbook and it's the first blog post of the year. I've been working hard on it and it would mean the world to me if you could just click on it even if you don't like it and close it after a few seconds. I just need your feedback and your support.

Here's the sum up of 2018:
January: My grandfather unexpectedly passed away in early December. January was pretty tough because I was all by myself in London dealing with this. And by "all by myself" I really mean it. My family was in Paris, staying strong together; my friends went completely silent radio on me, no message of support, no calls, no nothing; I was having a tough time at work with my agressive boss and my housemate was still being extremely rude to me. I couldn't see the end of January...

February: I was laid off my job - they decided not to renew my contract, probably because me and my boss were all at war (and also because I sucked at this job to be honest). But thank goodness during that period, my dear friend Justine came to visit me and we went to Brighton. It felt good. It was the last time we saw each other before...

March: ... Miami ! See, when we say "God has a plan" He really has. If we didn't plan this trip months ago, I would've stayed in London, crying over losing my job and worrying about what next. Instead, we flew to Florida, went to the Bahamas, road tripped across the Sunshine state and completely deconnected (I might have posted a pic or two on Instagram haha). It was exactly what I needed, when I needed it.

April: I started training for this new job, but wasn't sure where that was going so I moved back to Paris mid-April. We buried my grand-father on my birthday.

May: And the following weekend, my most supportive friends (minus one but she was busy) drove to my country side house to celebrate my birthday. I was still a bit shaky following the burial but it was very nice to have them around and soak up the sun in laughter. I will never forget that they came, even if it was a long way, even if it did not sound like the best weekend ever.
Who knew that age 26 I will still learn a lesson on friendship and betrayal? Well, I still learned the hard way after my grand-father's passing that sometimes you can give EVERYTHING to you friends, be there for them during tough times, they will not necessarily be there for you when something terrible happens. So yes, my friends were still completely silent, except one. But I also learned a big lesson on loyalty on the first week of May and I have to admit that I am still really struggling with what happened. But hey yay I got the job and moved back to London !

June: I moved to a new house, not in my favorite neighborhood but hey, London's housing market is cray. The housemates were terrible - again - and it was freaking hot and loud in there ! I tried not to be disappointed and tried to see my friends as much as possible. I also started listening to all the ChristChurch London's podcasts on my iPhone. The rest was work work work work work work work...

July: World Cup ! All I can remember is night shifts, weekend shifts and world cup games ! Also, I remember the heat in London and how I did not shave because all I did was work sleep eat repeat, so it was a nightmare being in jeans in 35 degrees. Dammit patriarchy !

August: More World Cup and the big victory ! Woohoo ! I also got Kanye West'd by someone who thought it was clever to tell me that my anxiety and clinically diagnosed depression was a "choice" but hey France won the World Cup so suck it !

September: I moved back to East London, with grown ass men who did not know anything about cleaning and energy saving. Needless to say after a week I knew I'd need to move out - again. But I was closer to church and Syana and all the cool spots.  I started a new job as well ! #GodProvides

October: My sister moved to the US and left me on the other side of the pond ! My new job turned out to be trickier for my mental wellbeing than I thought but as Avril Lavigne says "God keep my head above water !".

November: Moved into a new house share with cool housemates - not in my favorite part of London but that will do. Started watching Buffy again. Otherwise it was just me being busy with work.

December: I went back to Paris to see Michelle Obama but she cancelled on us because Bush senior died. So I got to spend some quality time with my family. And then it was Christmas, and then I flew to New York to be with my sis ! I also finished listening to all the podcasts available from my church on the podcast thing of the iPhone.

So yeah, the beginning of the year was pretty intense and tough but in the end, I tried to let go and just keep moving forward. I do not want to set goals. I just think I need to work on myself to let go of grudges I keep that keep pulling me back. I also need to let go of people, even if we had amazing years together, I don't need to have these years holding me back from cutting them off. And that will be the most difficult part, but I think it's time for me to look for a new church. The sense of belonging I had when I joined back in 2014 is fading, I now struggle each time a bit more with social anxiety when I go because I feel rejected. Let's see how this goes...

Armelle De Oliveira

OUTFIT | MEN TRASH

Cozy outfit we shot back in mid-September, during the Indian summer in London. The story behind those pics is how we got catcalled by boys who were no more than 15 while we were shooting in the streets of Hackney, how they got mad we didn't answer and called us "cunts" and they followed us and told me I was too ugly to get men interested anyways. Oh boy, so much for #metoo... See how young boys start disrespecting, harassing and abuse women. Even grown ass women like us. How come some still struggle to understand that educating boys is something that we MUST address to fix many issues that affect women - and men (hello toxic masculinity) - everywhere in the world nowadays? Smh...

Petit look confort shooté il y a déjà quelques mois en plein été indien à Londres. L'histoire ne dit pas qu'alors que nous shootions, des petits mecs d'environs 15 piges nous ont hélé et nous ont insulté de salopes car nous ne leur avions pas répondu. Ils nous ont ensuite suivi et m'ont dit que de toute façon j'étais trop moche pour intéresser les homes. Bienvenue dans l'ère #metoo. Voyez comment les jeunes garçons commencent très tôt à manquer de respect, à harceler et à abuser des femmes? Et certains pensent toujours que l'éducation des garçons n'est pas primordiale pour palier les problèmes auxquelles les femmes - et les hommes à travers la masculinité toxique - font face à travers le monde...

I loved this coat from Topshop when it hit the stores but as I mentioned before, Indian summer didn't help getting into the chilly autumn vibe so I wore it with a Zara dress I already wore here. I only wore this dress less than ten times and the stitches started to come off, so I gave it away to charity. In 2019, I'm going to try to explain myself more about this but I am SO done with fast fashion. This year has been eye opening to me. So fast fashion, and those #metoo allegations that hit Topshop were red flags for me so I returned the coat. Bye.

J'ai tout de suite craqué pour ce manteau Topshop quand il est arrivé en boutique. Mais bon, comme je disais, à cause de l'été indien, c'était difficile de passer en mode automne pour le porté donc je l'ai mis avec cette petite robe de chez Zara que vous avez déjà vu ici. Et pour l'avoir porté moins d'une dizaine de fois, quel seum j'avais quand j'ai vu que les coutures se défaisaient et qu'elle tombait en lambeau... Je jeté dans une benne à vêtements. En 2019, j'essaierai de m'exprimer davantage et de vous expliquer pour j'en ai terminé avec la fast fashion. Ca a été ma révélation de l'année. Donc entre ça et Topshop pris par la vague #metoo, j'ai décidé de rendre le manteau. Bye.

Armelle De Oliveira

OUTFIT | TEAM RIVERDALE OR PRETTY LITTLE LIARS ?

Me voilà de retour avec un look qui n'est pas du tout de saison puisqu'il a été pris en photo par ma soeur de visite à Londres en Septembre... Il faisait alors encore très chaud à Londres. On va pas se mentir, on est en Décembre et les températures sont encore extrêmement douces outre-Manche #climatechange. Bon, pas de là à sortir en brassière hein !
Je tenais absolument à shooter ces chaussures Asics Gel dont j'ai oublié la référence. Je les ai gagné grace à Anoushka il y a de ça un an, elles sont trop petites pour moi donc de la bonne taille pour ma soeur. Je lui avais donc promis de les lui donner. C'est désormais chose faite !
La brassière Calvin Klein je l'ai shoppé pour trois fois rien à Ross à Miami. Le manteau et le mom jeans viennent de chez Topshop.

I'm back with a new outfit which is not really season appropriate as we shot it with my sister back in September when she was visiting. It was quite warm back then in London. Let's be honest, it's December now and the temperatures are still really warm #climatechange. Well it's not warm enough to go outside only wearing a bra.
I really wanted to shoot those Asics sneakers that I won thanks to Anoushka a year ago or so. They don't fit me but do fit my sister so I promised to give them to her after I shot them which we only did just now. Now, she has them.
I bought the Calvin Klein bra in Ross in Miami. The coat and mom jeans are from Topshop.

A leur où j'écris cet article sachez que Chaima et moi nous disputons à coup de notes vocales interposées sur quelle est la pire série entre Pretty Little Liars et Riverdale. Riverdale est clairement pété comparé à Pretty Little Liars on est d'accord?

As I am writing this blog post, be aware that Chaima and I are currently fighting on messenger and sending each other voice messages trying to convince one another that Riverdale sucks more than Pretty Little Liars. Pretty Little Liars is WAY BETTER than Riverdale, amirite?

Voir cette publication sur Instagram

Une publication partagée par Armelle De Oliveira (@caeteramoda) le 30 Oct. 2018 à 12 :45 PDT

Des bisous !

XoXo

Armelle De Oliveira

OUTFIT | GRYFFINDOR

Hier soir il y avait "Harry Potter et le Prisonnier d'Azkaban" à la télé. Je me suis dit qu'il était donc de bon ton de publier enfin ce petit look mignon qui relève de l'uniforme d'un élève de Poudlard en vacances déterminé à montrer les couleurs de sa maison: Gryffondor.
C'est un peu par hasard un matin que j'ai concocté cette tenue et j'ai tellement kiffé que je l'ai porté tout le temps: au boulot, à Brighton, à Oxford aka Poudlard.
J'ai acheté cette petite robe salopette en velours à Topshop après en avoir vu d'autres versions ailleurs mais surtout de moindre qualité chez Primark. Vu qu'il caillait encore sa mère à Londres jusqu'à il y a quelques jours, pas le choix, il fallait mettre des pulls. Et mon pull en laine d'alpaga shoppé en Bolivie faisait très bien l'affaire. Il me rappelle les pulls moches que la mère Weasley tricote à Noël. Ron, épouse moi !
Les couleurs de Gryffondor étant rouge et or, j'ai enfilé mon collant doré avec mes chaussettes Gryffondor, provenant de Primark Oxford Street. J'ai fourré mes Gallions, mes Noises et mes Mornilles dans ma besace Poudlard et ai mis le cap sur Oxford !

"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" was on TV last night so I figured I might as well post my Hogwarts uniform inspired outfit and show the colours of my house: Gryffindor.
I did not create this outfit on purpose but I loved it so much in the end, I wore it everywhere: at work, in Brighton, in Oxford aka Hogwarts.
I bought this cute corduroy dress in Topshop after seeing similar ones in other shops, the one from Primark was really poorly made. As London was absolutely freezing until recently, I had to wear a jumper underneath my dress. Mine I bought in Bolivia and is made of alpaca wool. It looks like mother Weasley ugly Christmas jumper, does not it ? Ron, marry me already.
Gryffindor's colours are red and gold so here I am with my golden tights and Gryffindor socks I bought in Primark Oxford Street. I threw my Galleons, Sickles and Knuts in my Hogwarts saddlebag and hopped on a train to Oxford !

Photos: Jaël

Armelle De Oliveira

OUTFIT | EVERYTHING THAT SHINES AIN'T ALWAYS GONNA BE GOLD

"I'm on the pursuit of happiness"... Who isn't? There is not a single day I do not ask myself "are you truly happy?". The alternative to this question is "how much do you want to kill yourself today?". It is no longer a secret - I have talked about it many times on my blog - I have been struggling with depression and suicidal tendencies for more than ten years. I now deal with these illnesses way better than few years ago but still, everyday, I have this little voice in my head telling me "you're not happy, you can go anywhere, you'll never be happy, you're always going to be sad and depressed so you might as well end it now".

I attended a couple of months ago a screening of the film "Get Out" followed by a Q&A with various people from the film industry with an activist background ie everything I love. We discussed the "sunken place" represented in the film. How sometimes, something triggers us and lets us sink in our very own "sunken place". It was eye opening to me. How everyday I let myself sink in the "sunken place". Usually my own thoughts drag me down there but more often social interactions trigger me as well. I can't remember the number of times I simply blacked out during a conversation because someone innocently said something that made me feel like shit. Social interactions are the worst. People are no longer honest with each other. It is now a big mascarade where everyone just pretend they're living the best life, are happy in every single aspect of your life. Everyone is competing to be the one having the most perfect life. And I'm just standing there feeling like shit. Even though I know this is all fake and pretending, I still feel like shit. Even though I know my life is not the worst, I still feel like shit. I am very lucid on all of this and I still feel like shit. I am trapped in my "sunken place". But I ain't buying all the fairy dust that people are throwing to make there life seem more appealing than it truly is. I am pretty confident in the fact that we are all trapped in our very own "sunken places". We are all on the pursuit of happiness.

Silver Shearling Jacket Topshop / Velvet Top Vintage Pimkie / Belt Asos / Jeans Weekday / Boots André

Armelle De Oliveira

Photographs: Amélia

OUTFIT | MAMA AFRICA

J'ai acheté cette robe en solde à l'époque où je travaillais encore chez Topshop. Elle était vraiment bradée et la taille m'allait (bien que je la juge beaucoup trop courte désormais). J'aimais beaucoup sa coupe et son imprimé type boubou (ou communément renommé en pot-pourri "wax") donc je l'ai prise. Je ne sais pas si aujourd'hui, je serais encore capable d'acheter dans des chaînes de magasins type Topshop des vêtements avec cet imprimé. Vous le savez désormais, je suis partagée entre l'idée que ce concept vole ma culture ou la promeut. N'étant pas encore décidée et toujours en pleine phase de réflexion et d'introspection à ce sujet, surtout à tout ce qui touche à la pop culture. Je suis heureuse que mon article sur l'appropriation culturelle ait généré autant de réactions, surtout dans ma sphère amicale élargie. Notamment sur Facebook, des gens à qui je n'avais pas parlé depuis le lycée - à l'époque où j'étais complètement perdue dans ma tête - n'ont pas hésité à me demander de creuser plus et à donner leur avis. Je bloque pas mal sur le concept de la pop culture en ce moment, à savoir si dans l'art, on tombe dans la pop culture ou dans l'appropriation culturelle. Je développerai sûrement davantage ma réflexion dans un post quand j'aurais mis en ordre mes idées.
Quoi qu'il en soit, aujourd'hui je voulais m'attarder sur une expression que j'entends sur toutes les bouches et qui m'horripile un peu (beaucoup). Je parlais dans mon ancien billet sur l'appropriation culturelle de ces termes que je souhaitais voir bannis de mon vocabulaire et de ceux des autres, notamment "black" et sa variante "cke-bla" (n'est-ce pas complètement ridicule?), "blédard-e-", "fatou" etc. ... Il y a cette expression dont cet article porte le nom de "mama africa" qui me donne sérieusement envie d'hurler. Dans le vocabulaire commun, dans le jargon des mes amis et connaissances "mama africa" désigne une femme, noire, d'un certain âge, plutôt ronde, plutôt franche (entendre grande gueule voire qui a de l'attitude, insolente), probablement avec un accent plus ou moins marqué et des habitudes culturelles comme le "tchip", accessoirement qui porte des vêtements du "bled". Le problème c'est que pour les Afro-Caribéens, "mama africa" ce n'est PAS ça. Mama Africa désigne la terre d'Afrique, celle qui nous a donné la vie, le berceau de l'Humanité, celle qui nous unit. Cette expression désigne aussi toutes ces femmes, ces mères, ces tantines, qui ont éduqué à bout de bras tant d'hommes et de femmes. Détourner l'expression "mama africa" dans vos bouches revient à manquer de respect à la Terre mère et à la femme noire pour moi et mes pairs. Sachez-le.

I bought this dress on sale back when I was still a sales assistant for Topshop. The price was really reduced and it fit (well now I find it too short). I really liked its shape and its print (now commonly named "wax") so I bought it. I don't know if I'll be able today to buy from brands like Topshop clothes with this print. You know it now, I am torn between the idea that my culture is either stolen from or promoted. I am still not decided and still reflecting on it, especially on the concept of pop culture. I am truly happy that my post on cultural appropriation led to so many reactions, especially in my wide social circle. On Facebook, people I did not talk to since highschool - when I was completely lost in my head - did not hesitate to ask me to go in depth and to share their opinion. I am still blocking on the concept of pop culture for now, trying to figure out if art is pop culture or cultural appropriation. I will for sure develop my reflection in a post once my ideas will be clearer.

Chocker Ebay / Dress Topshop / Coat Boohoo / Shoes New Look / Clutch Good People / Armcuff H&MxCoachella

Cette pochette Good People, je l'ai eu dans mon goodie bag lors de l'inauguration du concept store Stylist x The Stackers. Elle est en raphia, faite main à Madagascar (comme ma bague en corne de zébu achetée à la Foire de Paris). Good People est vraiment une marque de personnes qui ont bon coeur. Une partie des bénéfices de chacun de vos achats de la marque est reversée à un orphelinat. Allé jeter un oeil sur leur shop, ils ont plein de modèles super tendance: vous ferez une bonne action en pimentant votre dressing. Et non, je n'ai pas été payée ou sponsorisée pour dire ça. Je suis juste une bonne personne (je pense).

I got this Good People clutch in my goodie bag on the launch of the Stylist x The Stackers concept store. It is made of raffia, handmade in Madagascar (like my ring made of zebu horn bought at the Foire de Paris). Good People is a brand for good people. Part of the benefits of each sale is donated to an orphanage. Take a look at their e-shop, they have lots of trendy items. You'll do a good deed while spicing up your dressing. And no, I was not paid or sponsored to write this. I am just a good people I guess.

Armelle De Oliveira