OUTFIT | JUNGLE

The world outside is a jungle and I am the weakest creature of the animal kingdom.
I can't take any decision by myself - including life changing ones.
For as long as I can remember, I hid behind my sister for such decisions.
She's the King Kong of the jungle - understand determined, wise but quick-tempered, sometimes a bully.
I can't say "no" for shit and it got me in really tough/awkward situations.
I hate myself for being the one who always tries to please everyone even if it means basically hurting myself.
I am being eaten alive in this jungle.
Being so weak is really crippling when you're working in my field. It is even worse when you're a blogger.
I never say to people they take shitty pictures of me because I do not to hurt them, but in the end, I'm paying the price for it because I post shitty pictures here and on social media.
In the blogging universe, you have to be a lion, ready to fight and conquer, and eat alive any concurrence.
If you're a sloth like me, you're not going anywhere.
I feel like I like trapping myself in this engrenage where I pick jobs where basically I'm going to suffer and suck.
Thank God for my sister, for Syana, Anoushka and Oriane who bear with me when I'm just a piece of shit in this jungle.

Dehors c'est la jungle et je suis la créature la plus faible du règne animal.
Je n'arrive jamais à prendre de décisions - surtout celles qui ont le pouvoir de changer le court de ma vie.
Quasiment toute ma vie je me suis planquée derrière ma soeur à chaque fois que ce genre de décisions devait être prise.
King Kong c'est elle, elle est déterminée, réfléchie même si parfois elle s'emporte vite, et elle a son côté tyran.
Je suis incapable de dire non et ça me met parfois dans des situations embarrassantes voire regrettables.
Je me déteste parfois parce que j'essaie toujours de faire plaisir à tout le monde même si ça me fait du mal.
Je me fais bouffer dans cette jungle.
Être aussi faible peut être super handicapant dans ma profession. Et c'est encore pire quand on est blogueuse.
Je n'ose jamais dire aux gens qui prennent des photos pourris qu'ils sont nuls parce que j'ai peur de les blesser et au final c'est moi qui en paye le prix quand je poste des photos nazes sur mon blog ou sur les réseaux sociaux.
Dans la blogosphère, il faut être un lion prêt à en découdre pour se faire sa place.
Si comme moi vous êtes en bas de la chaine alimentaire, vous êtes foutu.
J'ai l'impression que parfois je me sabote moi-même en m'orientant dans des milieus dans lesquels je vais être nulle et souffrir.
Je remercie le ciel pour avoir autour de moi des gens comme ma soeur, Syana, Anoushka et Oriane malgré le fait que je soi une sous-merde dans cette jungle.

Jacket Camaïeu / Top Pimkie / Pants Dr Denim / Boots &Other Stories / Belt Asos / Bag Primark / Necklace Zaful

Armelle De Oliveira

Photos: Jaël

OUTFIT | EVERYTHING THAT SHINES AIN'T ALWAYS GONNA BE GOLD

"I'm on the pursuit of happiness"... Who isn't? There is not a single day I do not ask myself "are you truly happy?". The alternative to this question is "how much do you want to kill yourself today?". It is no longer a secret - I have talked about it many times on my blog - I have been struggling with depression and suicidal tendencies for more than ten years. I now deal with these illnesses way better than few years ago but still, everyday, I have this little voice in my head telling me "you're not happy, you can go anywhere, you'll never be happy, you're always going to be sad and depressed so you might as well end it now".

I attended a couple of months ago a screening of the film "Get Out" followed by a Q&A with various people from the film industry with an activist background ie everything I love. We discussed the "sunken place" represented in the film. How sometimes, something triggers us and lets us sink in our very own "sunken place". It was eye opening to me. How everyday I let myself sink in the "sunken place". Usually my own thoughts drag me down there but more often social interactions trigger me as well. I can't remember the number of times I simply blacked out during a conversation because someone innocently said something that made me feel like shit. Social interactions are the worst. People are no longer honest with each other. It is now a big mascarade where everyone just pretend they're living the best life, are happy in every single aspect of your life. Everyone is competing to be the one having the most perfect life. And I'm just standing there feeling like shit. Even though I know this is all fake and pretending, I still feel like shit. Even though I know my life is not the worst, I still feel like shit. I am very lucid on all of this and I still feel like shit. I am trapped in my "sunken place". But I ain't buying all the fairy dust that people are throwing to make there life seem more appealing than it truly is. I am pretty confident in the fact that we are all trapped in our very own "sunken places". We are all on the pursuit of happiness.

Silver Shearling Jacket Topshop / Velvet Top Vintage Pimkie / Belt Asos / Jeans Weekday / Boots André

Armelle De Oliveira

Photographs: Amélia

FASHION | BACK TO SCHOOL WISHLIST

C'est ma première rentrée en près de 20 ans que je ne passe pas à l'école. Ca y est, c'est fini, je suis une adulte. Je n'ai plus école. Cela ne m'empêche pas d'avoir des envies de vêtement pour cette nouvelle année - scolaire ou pas - qui débute. Alors voici une petite sélection qui s'accompagnera bientôt d'un post dans lequel je vous expliquerai comment j'aime porter les t-shirt de groupe.

First time ever this Autumn I am not going back to school. It feels weird to be an adult. I do not have school anymore, it is over. Well, I still have back to school clothing cravings. Here's a selection which might come along soon with a new post on how to rock a band shirt.

Jacket Zara / Dress Mango

Checked Dress Urban Outfitters / Black Dress Urban Outfitters

Bralet New Look / Crochet collar skater dress New Look

Velvet skater dress New Look / Slip dress Pimkie via Asos

Mesh top Bershka / Metallica T-shirt Bershka

Crop Top H&M Divided / Boots H&M 

Silver jacket Zara / Boots Texto

Yep, I am dead serious with the goth/grunge/glam rock vibe for fall. Deal with it.

Oui, je suis à fond dans l'ambiance gothique/grunge/glam rock cet automne. Laissez-moi tranquille.

Armelle De Oliveira

TRAVEL | BELGIUM : BRUSSELS AND BRUGES

Two weeks ago I went to Belgium for a peaceful week-end. I know it' only been a month since I came back from New York, but that's just me, I can't stay in the same place for too long. So, with a friend, we boarded into a coach full of foreign students and went on the road for 4 hours straight to Brussels.

Bruxelles

Brussels

Brussels is the capital city of Europe - I think. There are a lot of European Institutions there. However, I was only there for the food. Wait what ? Well, yes, we had typical "french fries" - not so French though - in front of the stock exchange. We discussed feminism on the steps of the building. The weather was so nice and warm. So we decided to walk up to the big wheel and made our way back to the youth hostel we stayed in. Did I mentioned we got lost into the commercial streets of Brussels ? Well, we did. Thank you Google Maps for getting us back on the right path.

In the evening, we went to a very fancy restaurant and I had the most delicious meal ever. As I am vegeterian, it was a pain in the a** to find a restaurant there serving veggie dishes. So, at some point, I just pushed the door of a random restaurant and that was the one. Soft light, jazzy classical musical, people on dates, and just my bestie and I. We were feeling very akward but the food was amazing. I had a veggie millefeuille with crunchy courgettes, tasty carots and melting soft aubergine. It came with a plate of rice, but it was full of water so I barely touched it. Then, I still had room for desert so I ordered an homemade apple pie with vanilla ice-cream. It was delicious. We came out of the restaurant exhausted by the trip and the heavy diner but still had courage to go for a beer. We went to the famous Delirium pub. I had a Delirium because, well, I love Delirium beer and we were in Belgium, duh ! And my friend got a cherry beer. I can tell you guys that the time change was well timed (haha) and we saw it as a blessing from heaven. We slept like babies.

I did not took so many digital pictures of Brussels. First because for once, I wanted to enjoy it through my own eyes and not through a lens. But also because I took with me my disposable camera. I am still procrastinating and did not develop the film roll. But as soon as I do, I'll make sure to post the shots here. It is a first and I am really excited to see how the pictures will turn out !

Bruges

The next morning, we went to Bruges. Its nickname is "Venice of the North". It is really touristic but when you wander around in the small streets, it feels like you've crossed a spatiotemporal gate and have been teleported to another era. The streets are paved, there are many old churchs and buildings, there are lovely small bridges. The sweet colours of autumn were already illuminating the trees and the smell of fall was blowing in the wind. It was peaceful and relaxing to spend the day there. We had a waffle of course and bought chocolates ha ! It is funny how Bruges reminded me of my beloved Amsterdam. I am really missing this city. I have been there three times in my life and still love the vibe there. The vibe in Bruges is similar, yet more soothing. I would totally come back to Bruges. It's not very far from Paris so, why not ?!

Outfit

This is my "IDGAF, I'm a tourist" outfit. Basically, I just wanted to be comfortable during this weekend. So I'm wearing a Pimkie jacket, a Hollister top, a par of high-waisted Cheap Monday trousers and Jonak leather biker boots.
And my face is simply telling you "I am tired as f**k, but Imma do that tourist thang".
You're welcome.

Bons 💋 de 🇧🇪 // I had to focus on my lovely weekend in #Belgium to forget about last night's painful #TheWalkingDead episode... 💀 Wishing you guys a wonderful week 💕

Une photo publiée par Armelle D.O. (@caeteramoda) le 27 Oct. 2015 à 14h55 PDT

Have you ever been to Belgium ? Would you ?

Armelle De Oliveira